Left Foot Yellow, Right Hand Blue

OK, we're here in India, New Delhi to be exact. Though what's new about it we're not quite sure. Old Delhi looks newer. So maybe this is Old New Delhi. How we came to be here we shall tell, all in good time...

A lot of ground has been covered since our Last Post. No trumpets though :P.

We saw tigers and monks in Kanchanaburi, and this was an amazing, peaceful experience. Then the tourists arrived and turned tiger-patting into a fast food drive-thru. All through the day the tigers were sedate. Or is that sedated, we wonder...? Or is it just the positive energies of living in a monastery that tame the violent spirit? We'd like to think the latter.

The Death Railway was alive with people - everywhere you looked there were tour groups - mostly with Japanese, which seems weird as it is the site of their atrocities against Thai people and P.O.Ws during WWII. We went on our first Thai elephant ride and got our first elephant bum bruises. And John got kissed by a nine-month-old elemaphant on the belly :). Tiff was jealous. Bamboo rafting just below the surface of the water was a relaxing way to spend half an hour, and then a trip to the surreal War Museum showed just how far Thailand has to go in terms of cultural preservation.

A quick sojourn back to Bangkok led us to Chiang Mai, where the biggest tourist attraction is, take a guess, a market (like you can't find a market in every other town in Thailand). There were lots of touristy things we could have chosen to do, from "trekking" to mountain biking through jungle. We chose lots of sleep in an extremely comfy hotel bed. Oh, and we also spent an amazing day with the elephants at Mae Sa Elephant Camp. Here we saw soccer-playing elephants in World Cup Fever, bathing elephants (they looked like they were having SUCH a good time!) and the most adorable three month old elephant calf born in March this year. We were so fortunate to be able to get close to all the elephants, and to have precious moments of contact.

On our way back to Bangkok we stopped off at Sukhothai, the first capital of Siam, where the oldest ruins live. The age of the ruins was tangible, and the character breathtaking. From the 20 metre Buddha, to the Angkor-style towers, the ceylonese stupas and the abandoned hilltop Wat, all areas were indicative of an age of Thailand more beautiful than the present. The best thing about the area being Thai, was that we were able to walk on and among the ruins and not just view them from afar (as we would have had to do in an Australian World Heritage site). This made the experience that much more affecting.

Back in Bangkok, we counted down the days until our departure for India. We spent our time preparing as best we could, in the only way we knew how - by holding on to the last bits of known comfort - in Gold Class Cinema luxury. For a fraction of the price it costs back home, we were treated to tea, coffee and biscuits on arrival to the ultra-schmick lounge, the most gorgeous bathrooms we are likely to see for a very long time, blankets, pillows, reclining chairs and a 'tucking in service'. Pity the movie was only so-so (The DaVinci Code). The book made a better movie, but as always, Ian McKellen stole the show.

Finally the day of departure dawned, and we nervously packed our bags, cleaned our room (thanks for the loan Tae!), drank many coffees (free as we'd bought five each previously), and said our farewells to our gracious Thai hosts. Leaving for the airport 10:30 at night was bliss as there was little or no traffic and we actually made the 25kms in less than an hour.

Our first Indian experience left us startled and unsure. It came in the form of a kindly-looking old lady. She approached John first, smiling and gesturing towards our bags (which we had carefully kept under 20kgs). It wasn't until some time later that we understood (with a little help from her LARGE 'son') that she was asking us to check a bag of hers in with our luggage. We politely declined (much to their exasperation), but anyone who accepts anyone else's gear is just foolish. This was something that the lady and her son obviously did not understand. The son even lifted our bags to see for himself that they were at the 20kg limit. They tried others at the check-in counter but to no avail - this left us wondering what the old lady was packing. Should we be afraid, should we alert authorities, should we be alert but not alarmed? Or were we just too tired and paranoid? Everyone and everything else took on a shady cast. Our hand luggage was searched before boarding, but the old lady got through with only one of two bags searched - what was in that second bag? I guess we'll never know.

Because the plane didn't blow up, but someone on it sure did. The floor in front of our toilet was covered in vomit for half the flight - not sure if the air hosts were unable or unwilling to clean it. So it was covered in newspaper and left to wait. Eventually the stench permeated the entire cabin and we thanked our lucky stars that it was only a four hour flight. Ahhh, welcome to India.
It's not at all what we had expected or imagined, not at all the big modern capital we had pictured. Instead we see a strange mix of filth, decay, culture and cows. Yes, that's right, cows, lots of them.

5am Indian time, we staggered off the plane and into the waiting arms of the hoards of taxi touts. Armed with information from our Lonely Planet, we prepaid a driver to take us to the 'tourist strip' (Khao San of Delhi) for accomodation recommended to us by a friend. John panicked as we turned into a narrow lane, lined in dirt and massed with cattle. Surely this was a mistake! Getting out of the taxi, we opened the door to immediately be in a herd of cows congregating in the alley. Holy Cow indeed.

The hotel turned out to be fine, if deceptively low-life from the outside, and we stayed, using it as our base for short spurts of activity into Delhi when we had summoned the courage to brave the streets.

The Khao San of Bangkok goes foreigner, foreigner, foreigner, Thai person, foreigner. The Main Bazaar of Pahar Ganj goes Indian, Indian, Indian, Cow, Foreigner, Indian. Where we found the commoness of foreigners on Khao San to be ugly and disconcerting; here, to see a foreigner gives you comfort and relief.

Despite the dirt, the grottiness, the people pissing on walls in the streets, the constant barrage of people 'wanting to help', there is a well-defined character about the place, of a city caught somewhere between the dark age ruin and capital metropolis.

...but we're in India. A fact that we still can't believe. India India India. Nope, still can't believe we're here. It's everything you've heard, but nothing you're prepared for. Such a brutal attack on your senses, in a very different way to Bangkok. The smell of spices, incense, cows, piss and curried floor detergent; the sounds of horns, always horns, the tinkling of rickshaw bells, the 'excuse me sir, madam, I am not wanting to sell you anything but please listen to me' (in the typical Indian accent accompanied by a friendly head wobble); the heat, and contrasting chill of airconditioning, the airborne dirt and sweat that you don't notice until you're inside because it's not so humid; the sickly sweet, spicy, everything - they even have a spicy softdrink; and finally, the most amazing sight of all is late in the evening, against the setting of the sun, hoards of people taking to the rooftops to fly their kites. Magical. Perhaps this is the way they rise above it all.

Tiff is liking Delhi more than Bangkok, John is too scared to look. Where Bangkok is annoyingly different in small ways that make you ask, why can't it just be like home? Delhi is so different that there's just no comparison. The total saturation of colour, smells, sounds and sights causes you to hide behind your hand at first, as if looking into the sun; but slowly, as your eyes adjust to the light, you can come out from behind your hand and recognise what is.

Quick Tips for Delhi:
Hold on tight and just dive in. It may help to close your eyes.
People stare, deal with it.
John looks like an Indian Movie Star.
"Don't trust anyone, not even me." -'Helpful'? Indian
We should have listened to said "Helpful"? Indian
The drivers are soft in Bangkok.
If you haven't made your peace with God (whichever one you choose), don't leave the house.
Cows need hugs.
Tiff is John's wife. This is our second time to India. My name is Bob and hers is Rebecca.
Don't come to India if you are dairy intolerant.
Dairy is in EVERYTHING. They've almost found a way to put milk in a hard-boiled egg.
Be polite, even if noone else is.
If that big guy with the machine gun says no photos - you should listen.
Everybody wants to be your 'friend'.
A healthy dose of skepticism is good. Paranoia will ruin your trip.
You can be paranoid about anything.
Book trains well ahead, or you may have to catch a long-distance mountain bus, at night, in the rain - everything Lonely Planet says not to do.

More later: we're about to catch a long-distance mountain bus, tonight and it's raining. Eeeekkk!

saintrinity
John and Tiff

Kanchanaburi Waterfall

Hugs and tickles by young elephants.

"They're just like big cats, really!"

Tiff, Tiger and Monk

John in the Tiger's den.

Thorn in a Tiger's paw.

Our Thai homestay host (Tae), who homestayed with the Meliis in Australia. Yellow is the 'in' colour for Thai people at the moment as the King was born on a Monday and yellow is the colour for Monday (Moonday).

The wisdom (or madness) of the elephant - it's all in the eyes.

Little L'elephante

World Cup Fever War Paint - yes they do play soccer - we've got the pics to prove it!

Trunk to Tail L'elephantes

Democracy Monument tribute to workers and soldiers

Sitting Monk, Sleeping Tiger

The King's Flag, flying over all of Bangkok at the moment.

Democracy Monument, Bangkok, with night traffic

Jack for Nibs

It's been a week since we were Tonsai Dreaming.

We've left the cliffs for skyscrapers, beaches for streets and bungalows for shopping centres. We are in a place now where beggars and businessmen, slums and sophistication mix to the haphazard beat of the roaring traffic. Ahhh, the big smoke...

Leaving Tonsai was a natural process. The night of the last send, the monsoon season kicked off, putting limits on areas and times able to be climbed. Not that it mattered anyway, it just gave us an excuse to hide our unwillingness to climb anymore. After months of climbing harder than we ever had before, after projecting move after move and working up to the emotional battering of a failed send attempt, after numerous injuries and health setbacks, we were happy to be able to rest and not feel the pressure or need to climb.

So, after sending our projects we were thrilled to throw off the climbing mantle and adopt the beach bum, support crew, cheer squad position for new arrivals, namely a young couple from Canadia (sic). Enjoying the projecting experience from the other side of the mirror, we were relieved not to have to go through the same frustrations, but shared the satisfaction of the send regardless. For some the satisfaction took a little longer than others, with Tyler taking out the title for longest siege of a route. Got to admire his perseverance though. Thirza (maybe the cutest girl in the world -John) gets the bravery and patience award for belaying someone almost twice her weight and height, which proceeded to get her a black eye when her anchor broke and the draw holding her to the log whipped up and hit her face.

Thanks also to these guys for their willingness to teach us card games and indulge in ours. It's amazing to think that even with only a week to go you can meet and become attached to people, making more hard goodbyes.

With the monsoons and stormy seas making passage from Tonsai to Ao Nang all but impossible, it sometimes became necessary to travel via Ao Nam Mao (the only longboat port to operate in bad weather) and Railay East. One internet trip to Ao Nang ended with a storm, forcing us to hire a young man (kid) with a big, new engine on his longboat (possibly his dad's) from Ao Nam Mao to take us home. The trip is what you'd expect with a crazed teenage driver in a suped-up ride. Smiling, he told us to sit at the front of the boat, and, silly us, we thought perhaps this was to weigh the front down. Actually, it was so when we hit the big waves, we got the most airtime. Like in the Roadrunner cartoons, we'd always seem to pause(at the 'deadpoint', for Tiff's students), with just enough time to ponder how painful the landing was going to be. The longboat became a zero-G ride. All the while, homey-G in the back was laughing hysterically. So we made it back, had a heap of fun, but seemed to have paid twice as much as we should have (even though we had bartered the price down).

A repeat of this ride with 60kg of baggage (which we would have had to have lugged over the muddy, steep jungle path from Tonsai to Railay East through rain) was not appealing, especially as garbage bags (poorman's packcover/waterproofer) are worth gold on the Phra Nang Peninsula. Herein lies the irony: you can't buy, borrow or steal garbage bags - they are so valuable to the locals, and yet there is still rubbish everywhere. So you can imagine that we were praying desperately for good weather. Our prayers weren't answered, but Tyler and Thirza's were and it was just lucky that we were leaving the same day (which is just as well as we needed someone else to help carry our bags - thankyou again).

We spent the night in Krabi (go the Green Tea Guesthouse!) and revisited our first night in Thailand by reminiscing on the pier and eating at the Night Market. A full circle, closing the Tonsai leg.

En route to Trang, we visited the Crystal Pond and Emerald Lagoon (beautiful clear water, tinged with turquoise green) and Hot Springs. So, a hot shower was followed by a chilly swim, topped off by Jacuzzi-like (hot spa) indulgence. Tip: anyone on Tonsai wanting a restday for tired and sore muscles - visit the Hot Springs!!! After three months of cold showers, two bouts of hot water in a day was heaven.

Visiting Dan and Lit (first time for John), was fun and exciting edutainment, making us wish we had spent more time with them. We re-visited Tiff's previous experiences (minus spice and space) and did a run to the Malaysian border (9 hours in a minibus with strangers) to get another 30 day visa. Great thing was, not a single Westerner to be seen.

The train to Bangkok was comfy and spacious with air-conditioning, bunk beds and double-sized seats (800 baht each for those who thought bus was cheaper at 1000 baht). The journey was blissfully uneventful and even the bargaining for the taxi to our hotel at the other end was easy (thanks Dan).

Enter the horrors of Khao San Rd and Bangkok. The whole experience is sensually overwhelming. Everything is loud, noisy, smelly, fast, in-your-face, tactile and unrelenting. You are bombarded with taxi-drivers and stall-holders hassling you to enter their taxi/shop and hand over your hard-earned baht. No matter how many times we heard these things before we arrived, nothing could prepare us for the actual experience. Ao Nang was a sleepy playpen compared to the themepark that is Khao San. So after two nights spent in a hotel around the corner (thanks Dan), we were happy to move to the home of a Thai family who we knew through a student the Meliis had hosted a couple of years ago. Staying with a Thai family in a wholly Thai neighbourhood, is an experiece that very few Westerners get to enjoy. It is something that we are most grateful for.

We are also grateful to be leaving the big smog soon. We have spent the last three days in shopping centres - air-conditioned, pollution-free comfort. We even got to see a real-life English movie (Thai subtitles) - X-Men 3. Is that even out in Australia yet? We did a spot of shopping to replace damaged or badly-designed products (damn you Black Diamond headtorches / headlamps for you Canadians) and tomorrow we head off to Kanchanaburi for real monks and even real-er Tigers. This place also sports the infamy of the Death Railway and the Bridge over the River Kwae.

Tonsai Tips and Tricks:

Mould grows everywhere - don't try to stop it, you'll only get hurt.
Don't step on Thai hairy caterpillars - the pain will last for a week.
That furry leaf is probably a hairy caterpillar (or mould).
Even after three months you can still get ripped off.
Don't sit in the front of a long boat when the seas are high. You'll only get hurt.
You will fall off every move of your project before you send it.
A climb will only allow so many people to send it in a day - make sure you get in early.
Don't say a girl is cute in front of your girlfriend - you'll only get hurt.
Don't go kayaking when the tide is going out and a storm is coming. It will only end with the kayaking using you for buoyancy when you carry it across the rocks.
No matter how hard your girlfriend pouts at you, don't let her convince you to go kayaking. You'll only get hurt.
What happens in the kayak stays in the kayak.
Someone who has been playing cards for many years will probably beat you at whatever game you 'teach' them.
When you're gambling with toothpicks, bet recklessly. Now I have clean teeth. -John
Make sure your belay anchor is good all the way around.
A frayed rope will break, it may just take a 190 pound Canadian to do it. Oh, and you'll get hurt.
Tonsai damp will linger long after you've left.
Tonsai will grow on you, just like the mould.


Bangkok for Beginners

Drivers here are mad. They have no sense of safety.
Pedestrians have to be traffic conductors to cross the street.
Everyone wants your money.
Sales Assistants don't assist, they persist, then pout, and use every trick including emotional blackmail to get you to buy TODAY. They will then get angry when you don't. Oh, and you are NOT allowed to touch or try on anything before you buy.
When Sales Assistants start saying please, walk away.
That's not a storm coming, it's the air you're breathing.
Everybody smokes here, even if you don't.
The 19th Hole Massage Parlour has nothing to do with golf.
Khao San is no place for beginners, unless you are "bohemian", want dreadlocks, like living among Westerners on your Asian holiday or have heaps of money and a desire to lose it.
Leave as soon as you can.


Other Thai Wisdom

If someone thinks you are Thai, use it to your advantage.
Thais think John is Thai.
John is not Thai (really).
Just because you can count to 10 in Thai doesn't mean you can have a conversation with a Thai person.
Thais don't understand the joke / philosophical question "What came first, the gai or the kai?"
Gai means chicken.
Kai means egg.
Moo means pork - go figure.

saintrinity